It’s been a hard year and a half for working mothers. More than 1.4 million working moms left the workforce during the pandemic. There are countless mental health challenges for working mamas and/or their kids. Working mamas are always pulled in many directions, but we’ve been stretched to the limit during the pandemic. It’s easy to lose site of gratitude with so much going on. Just in time for Thanksgiving, I’m putting a spotlight on the benefits of gratitude for working moms.
Scientific benefits of gratitude
Amy Morin talks about the scientifically proven benefits of gratitude in her article for Psychology Today. I want to focus on three of the seven benefits that she writes about in her article.
Let’s start with how gratitude improves self-esteem. Let’s face it. When you’re trying to be your best at work and at home, you want your self-esteem to work in your favor. Morin also mentions some studies show that “gratitude reduces social comparisons.” So, you’re feeling your best and you’ve stopped comparing yourself. Win-win. (And if we’re not comparing to others, I bet that could help a bit with mommy guilt too. You’re not focusing on what you think you “should be doing. An idea to make you go hmmmmm.)
Morin also talks about gratitude and resilience. The pandemic has put many working mamas through the ringer. We need more resilience (yes, we need all sorts of support too, but resilience will help us get there). “Recognizing all that you have to be thankful for —even during the worst times—fosters resilience.”
And here’s the final one I want to mention. It turns out that gratitude can help with psychological health. Morin shares that some “research confirms that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression.” Gratitude can combat toxic emotions that fuel some challenges to psychological health. We definitely need that right now.
Bring more of what you want into your life
Beyond the scientific benefits, I want to share some of how gratitude has helped me personally and professionally. (More on my gratitude practice below.)
Let’s start with the idea of attraction. Yes! I am a believer in attraction. You focus more on what you want more of in your life and you get more of it. You often hear that the squeaky wheel gets the grease, but this isn’t a great approach when we’re talking about what you want more of in your life. Write and talk more about the things you’re thankful for (likely positive things) and you’ll get more of them in your day.
Not a believer of attraction? Think of it this way. If you put a spotlight on what you appreciate in your life, you start to make micro-decisions, likely unconsciously, that allow for more of those things to happen. This is the perspective of one of my mentors. I absolutely loved this perspective when he shared it.
Be more present
Still on the fence about how working moms can benefit from a gratitude practice? I know it can sometimes be hard to focus on kids at home without sneaking a peek at your phone or responding to just one more email. Consider this. Focusing on what you’re grateful for also helps you be more present. When you take time for gratitude, especially in the moment, you’re you’re not focusing on the imperfection or your running to-do list. You’re engaging and taking it all in during the moment.
You’ll start to look for these moments, fully engaging in the little pockets of time when they happen. And your kids and family will notice.
If you’re struggling with this, focus on really small pockets of time. Start with a few minutes. Over time, move that to 5, then 10, and then 15 minutes. Work your way over time to be present for 30 minutes of dedicated time with your kids. Let’s be honest, 30 minutes can go a long way on a normal day. Hint: This dedicated time with your kids can definitely help you with your kids later so you can send that important email or take a call unexpectedly.
And gratitude can help you be more present at work too. Consider the aspects of your job that you love. Shine a lot on that, even mention it to your colleagues or manager. You never know when opportunities uncover themselves where you get more of those things you love.
Gratitude and being more intentional
We all have choices to make. Each day we have dozens if not more choices to make. Some of the decisions are easy like what to wear on a typical workday or what to make for dinner. Naturally, some of the decisions will be harder and more involved, like next steps in your career or deciding on an opportunity that requires your family to move.
As you focus on gratitude, you also start to realize what’s important to you. You become more intentional with your decisions, actions, and energy. It essentially becomes a cycle – a positive cycle. There is more gratitude with intention and more intention brings more gratitude.
Need a bit of help in being more intentional? Check out my post on what changes I made to be more intentional with my time and to focus more.
Gratitude and self-care
My gratitude practice is one of my moments of self-care each day. It’s how I finish off my day. I focus on my needs with the initial moments and the end of my day. And you better believe that bookending my day with self-care is fulfilling and empowering.
My gratitude practice
Before bed, I write in my gratitude journal and read. I write about 3-5 things I’m thankful for from the day. It’s the second part of bookending my day with self-care. The gratitude journal helps me focus on the positive moments throughout my day and reading makes me happy.
Plus, this approach is a great way to manage stress. Let’s be real. It’s hard to focus on gratitude when you’re stressed. Even with challenges during the day, I am able to frame my day in a positive light. I’m thinking positive thoughts about the day as I put my head on my pillow. It turns out the focusing on gratitude can help with stress management. That’s another little nugget from Morin’s Psychology Today article.
Getting started
Don’t feel pressure to write Start small. I share more about my gratitude practice below, but you can start small with how you bring more gratitude into your life. Each day, write about one thing you’re thankful for. At dinner have everyone say one thing that has brought them joy that day. You can even have one moment of gratitude in your mind before you drift off to sleep. I’ve heard of people creating a gratitude jar where they put a slip of paper with one thing they’re grateful for each day. On hard days they can grab one of those slips of paper.
Need some ideas to get your gratitude practice started? A few years ago Yvonne Marcus wrote a guest blog on How to start a gratitude practice. It’s still very relevant.
Trying to be more intentional with your time so that you can focus on gratitude or have more time for something that brings you joy? I suggest you start with your why. Download the Know Your Why Guide.
