Working motherhood often means managing competing priorities, consistently making changes, and taking on the invisible mental load. Yes, it is rewarding, but it can also be overwhelming, draining, and difficult to navigate. Let’s talk about tips to improve working mothers’ mental health so they can thrive, not just survive.
Why do we need to share more tips to improve working mothers’ mental health?
Feeling burned out, overwhelmed, and exhausted? You’re not alone. In 2024, the then Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy issued a new advisory about the stress that parents are feeling. Murthy talks about “long-standing pressures parents face” such as financial challenges (e.g, the rising cost of childcare), increased concerns about children’s safety and well-being (e.g., school violence), and children’s mental health challenges because of technology (e.g., cyberbullying). On top of that, “Murthy says mothers are now spending 40% more time each week on child care, compared to 1985, and fathers are now devoting 154% more time each week to child care than they used to (though mothers still spend far more of their time on it than fathers).”
You might not have known the statistics, but you likely felt exhausted and overwhelmed. And now there is a layer of uncertainty in the marketplace because of things like rising costs and changes in policies (e.g., return to office, etc.). You know you’re stressed or feeling the weight of everything so now what? To help you think about how to improve your mental health as a working mom, I’m sharing 7 tips to help you take action now.
Let’s start with stress management
Sometimes, when a working mom is looking for a more balanced lifestyle, she’s actually looking to manage stress better. Let me start by saying I believe some stress is good in our lives. It helps us prioritize and stretch our skills or knowledge. Chronic, overwhelming stress doesn’t help, though. You need to figure out what helps you specifically manage stress. I’ll share a few ideas here. If you want more actionable tips, check out 10 Tips to Manage Stress as a Working Mom.
- Practice mindful exercises where you focus all your senses on a visual or on the present moment. This helps you stop the swirl in your brain and be more present.
- Getting outside is more than changing scenery. It can be good to move your body. Or you add a layer of mindfulness and focus attention on the sounds of nature. This can have a calming effect.
Define and maintain boundaries
Our minds need downtime each night to be at our best. Yes, you might have seasons when you work late for stretches of time. Working long hours and having long-term high stress levels can lead to burnout, though. And working from home makes it easier to hop online for one more email that turns into hours, since you don’t have the mental stopping point of walking out of an office. Get a lot more tips on boundaries.
- If you work from home, set a schedule so people know when you’re actively working. It’s essentially your work or office hours in the office. When your work time is done, shift your focus to family and life. It also helps you be more present.
- How many times have you mentally set time for work or thinking only to have it filled with meetings? Use your calendar to carve out work time. If you don’t, will might find yourself doing work in the evenings or early morning.
Take time for Self-care
As working moms, it’s easy to put the needs of your family or work front and center. You’re often pulled in many directions, and self-care moves down the already long to-do list. Self-care helps you be your best in all your roles, though. I’ve got you covered if you want to know more about setting aside time for self-care. I’ve got two tips to get you started:
- Focus on small moments of self-care instead of trying to schedule the occasional spa day. Yes, spa days are amazing, but what about the other days of the month or year? Self-care once in a while doesn’t cut it! Take a moment each day or multiple days through the week to fill your cup.
- Getting enough sleep absolutely matters. Have a nighttime routine that gives your mind and body a signal that it’s time to shift to falling asleep instead of getting things done.
Keep your eyes on your own lane
Look at social media for new ideas on travel, self-care, or any number of topics, but don’t let others’ experiences be your measuring stick. Keep your eyes on your own lane for how you create the life you want. Don’t let others’ highlights make you think your life is less than. Life is what actually happens between the photos. Most people don’t share that. You’ll either see others’ highlight reels or the low moments, not the stuff between. Focus on your needs, and you’ll likely be content and more satisfied with the lifestyle you create.
Ask for what you need at work and at home
Your significant other is not a mind reader (I know that is disappointing, or, at least it was to me). You must ask for what you need. Here’s a hint when you’re working on sharing the mental load. Either be specific with your ask or get comfortable with things looking a little different. I share more on letting go of the mental load.
It also happens that your employer doesn’t know what you need either. If you own a business, your clients won’t know what you need unless you tell them. Boundaries absolutely matter. Intentionally not responding to late-night emails that aren’t emergencies can let your colleagues, manager, clients, etc. know that you’re not available in the evening. It’s more than boundaries, though. If you want to shift when, how, or where you work, you must let that be known. Be strategic with how you ask and try to create win-win situations.
Download the Mompowerment templates to help you with these integral conversations for changes at home and at work.
Create a tribe
You don’t need to figure things out as a working mom on your own. In fact, one of the integral tips to improve working mothers’ mental health is to create a tribe. You want your significant other, family, friends, colleagues, mentors, sponsors, allies, etc., to support you as you move closer to your personal and professional goals. This tribe also includes people like a housekeeper, nanny or daycare team, etc. Create a team to support you at home and at work.
Have a variety of people to keep you grounded. Choose people who listen to your challenges and cheer on your wins. Find people who can be sounding boards and help you take action. You want part of your village to sit and listen and others who will nudge you along. Whatever you do, don’t work on your mental health alone.
Find employers or clients that support you
It’s not enough to find a tribe to support you in your efforts to manage your mental health better. Having an employer that is balance-friendly, recognizes your boundaries, and tries to create a supportive work environment (regardless of whether you’re in the office, at home, or a hybrid of the two) matters.
You can look into these things when you first interview with a team or employer. Look at their website, talk to current and previous employees, and check out the stories managers and senior leaders share publicly. Learn more about How to Identify a Family-Friendly Employer in my Harvard Business Review article.
If you’re a business owner, work with clients who support your mental health. Having clients that respect your boundaries without your consistently holding the line shows they support and respect your decisions and approach. Having clients who don’t consistently make unreasonable demands helps you maintain better work-life balance and overall well-being. Yes, you’ll have opportunities that come up or long hours during some seasons, but it’s not the usual way you do business.
A reminder
While you’re making changes, please remember to give yourself space and grace. We need the space to change and the grace to make changes without judging ourselves or our actions. It’s not all going to work perfectly. There will be days where things go well and moments, days, and weeks (maybe even months) where things aren’t quite what you want. It’s all OK. Keep making the effort to change things, one step at a time.
There you have it: 7 tips to improve working mothers’ mental health! Consider bookmarking this article to refer back to when you need it. I want to hear from you, though. What helps you with your mental health? What areas do you struggle with? What do you want to know more about?
If you’re a manager hoping to find new ways to support working mothers’ mental health, I’ve got 5 tips to help you support working mothers’ mental health.
Disclaimer
This article is based on updated content from experts and renowned resources available on the internet. This content is not designed to be a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified medical professionals. If you are dealing with overwhelming chronic stress, depression, anxiety, or other mental health challenges, please reach out to a mental health professional near you or online to help you with your specific needs.
