Is your work-life balance is out of whack? You’re not alone. Remember, though, that work-life balance is a long-term approach to life. Some seasons are more about work and others are more about life. Don’t aim for the rare (or unicorn) 50/50 split that often people incorrectly refer to as balance. Allow the ability to sway from one side to the other? What helps with this? Priorities! Priorities help working moms create greater balance to feel aligned, intentional, and fulfilled.
What matters most to you?
Let’s start with what matters most to you. It’s hard to give space for priorities if you don’t know what they are. It’s not simply that family comes first. What about spending time with your family comes first? What does family being first look like for you? As you engage with your family, what do you want to accomplish?
We spend a lot of time reacting to the things around us. That could be family needs at home or those of a client at work. If you’ve spent a lot of time reacting to the things around you, you might need help as you uncover your true priorities. We’ve got you covered! Download the Know Your Why Guide.
Plan your Time
You might have heard me say this before. Plan your time to allow space for your priorities. Take 15-20 minutes on Sunday to decide on your goals and priorities. Look at the general flow for the week, keeping in mind everything you have planned (e.g., conferences, presentations, etc.).
Then take 10-15 minutes each night to plan for the next day. Figure out what you need to do the evening before to help you be more productive the next day. Gather resources you might use, break things down into smaller moments of time, put a bunch of articles together in a PowerPoint that you might pull from for a presentation, get phone numbers for calls, and grab emails for people you need to write. The idea is to hit the ground running the next day instead of taking precious work time to plan or get organized.
Know your Non-negotiables
Boundaries and priorities go hand in hand. You want to know you non-negotiables. It’s not enough to plan and set your goals. You also need to know your boundaries and the things that are must dos for you (these are your non-negotiables). Maybe you want to have dinner as a family 4 nights a week. Or maybe this week your child has a game or performance that you will attend. Whatever it is, put it on your calendar so nothing else infringes on that time. You might need time to change or some extra time to get to a different location. Account for that time on your calendar. (More on using your calendar below.)
It might be helpful to talk to your colleagues and friends about these non-negotiables. They can help with accountability and remind you if something is running long. Or they can be allies in trying to avoid 5pm meetings or meetings before 9am.
Not All Things are Equally Important
Work-life balance is not a 50/50 split each day. It’s a long-term approach to your life. As you create the work-life balance you want, it’s also important to consider that not all things in your life are equal. Attending your child’s recital or coaching his/her soccer team might be the most important thing you do this week, even more so than the big presentation for a client. Or maybe that client presentation could lead to a huge win for your team and your business’ financial health, so it’s the most important. It’s OK for things to have different weights on the same scale. Give yourself the permission to assign different weights for this moment.
And it’s based on your scale and measurement. It’s not based on the scale your siblings use or your best friend talked to you about yesterday. And the importance of some things might change from one week, one day to the next, or even from moment to moment (e.g., what happens in case of a childcare emergency). Embrace these changes. Be able to articulate why things matter and that will help you figure out your priorities.
And here’s the final piece of this. Step away from mommy guilt as the weight of things in your life change. Remember, work-life balance is a long-term approach with small shifts and consistent movements/readjusting. One day doesn’t break your balance.
Time to Pause
We each have a productivity puzzle that we create, piece by piece. You might be trying to fit your puzzle together. It takes time and intentional effort. Before you put everything together, give yourself a moment to pause. It’s easy to jump to action in a specific moment. It’s natural to react, especially as a working mom who is constantly dealing with others’ needs. Don’t simply react, though. How do you know when it’s time to reprioritize if you’re simply going, going, going? Be intentional and take a moment to pause so you have the mental space to gather your thoughts. I write a lot more about the need for an intentional pause in a Mompowerment post.
Use your calendar
You understand that priorities help working moms create greater balance. Maybe you’re wondering what tools can help with this? I get questions regularly about tools to help create greater balance. Chances are that you already have a tool that you’re not fully utilizing – your calendar. It’s likely on your phone and computer. It’s probably with you most of the time. You engage it regularly, but are you maximizing the use of it?
You get it. Use your calendar, but what does that really mean? What does this look like? Block time off on your calendar for the things you care about. Put on the calendar dinner with your family and invite your significant other so it’s on their calendar too. Set a specific time and send a meeting request for date night. Get that girls’ night out on the calendar the same way you do your kids’ practice after school or Cub Scouts’/Girl Scouts’ meetings. And invite your significant other so everyone knows what’s going on that night or day. This helps with the mental load and ensures they can’t say, “I didn’t know that your outing, event, etc. was on this day/night.”
5 Tips to Help You Prioritize at Home
You’ve done the work to re-prioritize. You’re figuring out how to align your work and priorities. What are some of the things you can do at home to help you find time for your priorities? Here are 5 tips to help you:
- Ask for help. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. Whether it’s asking your significant other to take on more household or childcare duties or hiring a housekeeper, you can ask for help. It’s not a weakness. It’s being smarter about how you use your time. It’s recognizing what you need. It’s maximizing your time. Remember that you want to share the mental load as a working mom.
- Get organized. If you lose your keys one day and spend 10 minutes looking for them, it’s annoying. If you do this every day, you lose over an hour a week and more than a week each year. That is a lot of time lost. Put stuff in its place (at home and at work). Take time to figure out where things naturally go. At home have kids help and give some of these duties to your significant other. Remember, we’re sharing the mental load.
- Upgrade your morning routine. It’s hard to be at your best each day if you’re dealing with the hurdle of your morning routine (or the lack there of). And a solid morning routine starts the night before for you, your significant other, and your child(ren). Have formulas for things like what goes in lunches. Know specific options for breakfast ahead of time. Read my most read blog post to help with creating (or upleveling) your morning routine. And remember that you don’t have to do this all on your own. My husband is great at making breakfast while I work on lunches.
- Have a housework plan. If you’re fortunate enough to have a housekeeper each week, it’s an amazing investment. Maybe you don’t have a housekeeper come each week or maybe not at all. We all have different ways we choose to use our budget. Create a plan for how you will tackle housework. This guest post on speed cleaning on the Mompowerment blog might help.
- Plan and prep meals. One of the top tips I heard during 110+ interviews with professional working moms for the books was the need to be more efficient when it came to feeding their families. The solution I heard again and again was to create a weekly meal plan and prep meals in a batch (often over the weekend). Figuring out something each night to eat and then making it takes sooooo much more time than doing one round of prep and only cooking each night. Or, better yet always make a meal for at least two days so you’re only heating up on day 2. Read more ideas on my post about improving productivity at home.
You’ve gotten a lot of ideas on how priorities help working moms create greater balance. What changes will you make to help you carve out time for your priorities? What do you already do that helps you?
