As busy, working moms, do we really take enough time for ourselves? Within my own circle of friends and the conversations I’ve had since writing my two books, it doesn’t really seem that way. I know I could do a bit more self-care in my own life. How about you?
Self-care when you’re a busy, working mom can seem like a luxury. Or maybe it’s something you put on your to do list, but you never quite get to it. Ever. Most moms I interviewed talked about more balance and less stress, but not necessarily because self-care was more present in their lives.
Some moms are really good about self-care. Of the 110+ professional working moms I interviewed, some made sure to include it in their schedule every day or several days a week. For a few of those moms, self-care was even part of the reason for transitioning to a part-time role. (I’m talking a handful, though, out of more than 100.)
Why Is Self-Care So Important?
So, why am I writing about this? Why is self-care so important for working mamas? For starters, self-care impacts those we love. How can we focus on those important to us and be 100% if we don’t take care of ourselves? And I’m talking the mental, physical, emotional – a holistic – version of care. Essentially, self-care makes us better. And that makes us better in all the roles we play each day. Our self-care and our directly impacts our families.
As a bonus, aren’t you happier when you take care of yourself? I know I am. As one mom professional part-time working mom who I interviewed describes it, “I’m happier and it trickles down to my kids, who are also happier.” Our happiness directly impacts our families.
Self-care also helps you manage stress and overwhelm. Stress is a natural part of being a working mom. And a certain amount of stress isn’t a bad thing. Think of the times when you feel overwhelmed, though. Have you been taking care of yourself in the days or weeks before those moments? At least in my case, and with the mamas who I know well, when we neglect ourselves, the feeling of overwhelm creeps in. When you include self-care in your day or week, you are also better able to focus and be more productive.
Not sure what to do for your self-care moment?
Not sure what you should be doing to fill your cup? These 3 questions might help get your started on finding the right sorts of self-care habits for your needs:
- What makes you happy, outside of family and work stuff? What is it about that thing that makes you happy? How else does it make you feel (e.g., light, fun, calm, energized, etc.)
- Is there an activity that makes you smile, even just thinking about it? What is it about that activity that you enjoy?
- Can you think of an image that gets you to think happy thoughts? Where are you? What are you doing?
- What’s a small thing you can do to help you integrate small (or big) moments of self-care in your day or week?
- What’s one thing that immediately changes your mood (e.g., dancing, laughing, etc.)?
Ways You Can Integrate Self-Care into Your Day
You don’t have to take hours or days for self-care. You can slip moments of self-care into your busy day as a working mom.
- Breathe. Take several deep breaths. Listen to your breath. It only takes a few minutes and you will feel the benefits of deep breaths.
- Read a book. Reading for 6 minutes can lower stress.
- Write in a journal. Writing things out can be very therapeutic.
- Get outside. Enjoy nature. It has a calming and energizing effect on all of us.
- Turn on some music and let it move you. Put on some tunes and dance it out. Play something soothing and let it take you away. Whatever you need. Or maybe different tunes for different moments of your day or week.
- Create an inspiration board. Put together images of things you love and place it somewhere you can see it. Imagine yourself doing one of those things or visiting one of those places. Let your mind wander for a few minutes and enjoy the moment.
- Laugh. Laugh until your belly hurts. Find videos or websites that can do that for you.
- Meditate. For however long you need it. A few minutes or an hour.
- Schedule your spa day. Take a day and do something like a spa day if that is what you want for self-care.
My Little Self-Care Moment Each Day
If you follow the Mompowerment blog, I’ve shared in a few blogs that I try to do a little bit of self-care every day. I start my day with a check-in each day to see how I’m feeling. I might be tired or grumpy (we all sometimes wake up on the wrong side of the bed some days) or maybe even really excited about something. Knowing how I feel helps me know what adjustments I might need to make, especially as I start interacting with my family, first thing in the morning. The idea is to set me up for success.
I’ve had people ask why you need to know if you’re really excited and even that can be overwhelming for your kids if you’re super excited about something you’re working on when they’re trying to start their day. It’s also a personal moment for you to see how you’re feeling. And, it’s at the start of your day to start it out on the right track. It’s a trifecta of self-care. (If you want to know more about how I start my day, check out my morning routine.)
If I’m feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or needing a moment of clarity, I try to do some meditation. I only take a few minutes and my favorite tool is www.calm.com (I really like the creek sound, BTW).
My Special Self-Care Moments Each Month
Even with my morning self-care moments, I still try to take time to do something more when I can. My favorite “me” moment is a monthly pedicure. It’s a girly moment in my household with all males.
If I want to unwind at home, I take a lavender bubble bath with bath salts and bath scrub – maybe even with a small glass of wine. It’s a moment of bliss in the evening, once the boys are down.
If I don’t have time for a bubble bath or am not in the mood, I like to do something simple like read before bed – a book that’s not work-related. Something I enjoy and can’t wait to pick up again. Some of the moments can feel like luxuries and some are simple moments, but they are my moments, doing what I need to re-charge and fill up my own cup.
What’s Stopping You?
I’ve shared why it’s important to include self-care in your routine, especially as a busy, working mom. And even how to figure out what you can do for self-care, if you don’t know already. I gave examples and even shared my own self-care rituals as examples, some of which only take minutes.
So, here’s my question to you. What’s stopping you from integrating self-care into your day or week?
Is it not enough time? Do you need to use your time better? Can you make adjustments in your to-do list such as delegating? Can remove things from your list, because some things don’t have to get done? Are you simply trying to do too much in a day and setting an unreasonable expectation of your time?
Are you limiting your definition of self-care? Remember, you don’t need hours, so see how you might be able to fit small moments of self-care into your busy day. Find the small moments of self-care to integrate each day or throughout the day. If you want to go big and do something like a spa day or massage or pedicure, do that month a month or find the right amount of time that works for you.
Not sure if it’s worth your time or if you have earned it? I can tell you already that it is and that you’ve more than earned it. Mama, I’ll remind you that you’re doing your best. And you deserve a moment to yourself for self-love and self-care. Honestly, you deserve hours of it, but moments are likely what you can fit into your busy day.
Self-care is in your hands
Take a moment to fill your cup. Take as many moments as you need and want to fill your cup. You want it. You need it. You’ve earned it. Enjoy it! Or better yet, enjoy lots of self-care moments.
What are you doing now or what will you start doing as your self-care rituals? How will you include more self-care moments in your busy day and/or week? What kinds of self-care will you start doing (I’m always looking for new ideas)? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.
