Romance and passion seem to be all around – in movies, on TV, commercials, in songs, on other people’s Facebook pages, in books we read, even in fairy tales we read our kids. Don’t get me wrong, I love the passion and romance in my marriage. Really, though, marriage has a simple, more practical side that we don’t usually talk about. I really do appreciate the simple things in our marriage that show I love my husband or that he loves me. And they can be quite simple – buying him ice cream sandwiches as an unexpectedly treat while grocery shopping, him getting me flowers for no reason, meeting for lunch on a whim when the boys are at pre-school, etc.
My husband and I have been married for over 6 years. When we first got married before we had kids, we did all sorts of things…saw countless movies in an actual movie theater, socialized with friends regularly, ate at new non-kid friendly restaurants, went to comedy clubs, and listened to live music. We focused a lot of energy on our marriage and really enjoyed time with each other.
Then we had our first child. And things changed a lot. And then we had our second child. And things changed even more. Marriage already takes work and kids seem to add a layer of complication into the mix, at least that seems to be the case with two boys in pre-school.
The hubby and I have done date night for years now. We have the best intentions to go out two nights per month, although it’s usually once a month that we make it happen. It can be hard to get out, not to mention it can add up financially. So, we took a more practical approach to things. We started making sure to do something each weekend that we don’t do a normal date night. We essentially do a “home date night.” We grab some yummy bread and cheese, a bottle of wine and a treat. Or sometimes we make a treat like homemade cookies or ice cream. We put the boys to bed and enjoy our spread – just the two of us. We watch a movie or take time to talk without the distraction of children and work. Seems simple, but it’s a treat.
As I said in my last blog, we’re working on being intentional in our household. We’ve made small changes in the past several months. We wanted to enjoy our time as a couple, combined with doing things the kids enjoy. Last summer, we started doing outdoor time on the weekends as a family. We started listening to live music that is still fun for kids. Last week we went to a chocolate tasting – yummy options for all. We’ve tried to make sure we’re all having fun, instead of making sure we focus on enabling fun for our boys.
It seems simple, but it takes effort to make it happen. Marriage is about enjoying time with each other, whatever that looks like to you. When things get hectic, which can be daily some weeks, you still need to focus on that connection between husband and wife. Do you have some practical ways to focus on being a couple?
