I’m tired of hearing that “work-life balance is a myth.” For far too long the phrase “work-life balance” has conjured ideas of this perfect 50/50 split that you achieve each day. Let’s move past that unrealistic idea and empower working mothers out there to create the lives they want. And here’s a nugget for you to have in mind. Working mothers can create greater work-life balance.
What work-life balance isn’t
Work-life balance isn’t a daily goal or task. There are things you can put on your to-do list related to work-life balance but balance itself is not something you put a checkmark next to on a list. It’s not a journey with an end so that you achieve balance and never think about again.
For some, the word “balance” gives you a visual of a scale with work on one side and life on the other. You’re trying to perfectly balance the two. That’s not reality. The times you’ll hit that 50/50 perfect balance are rare, even if you’re intentional and aim to maximize your time each day.
A long-term approach
Take the pressure off and stop aiming for this unrealistic definition of balance every day. It’s a work-life balance is a pendulum that sways. Sometimes you’re in a moment more focused on work and another time it’s more about family. What is more realistic version of work-life balance for working moms is thinking of balance over the long term. It’s a long-term approach to life, especially for working mothers.
What do I mean by long-term? A week. A month. A quarter. A season (whatever that means in your definition). A year even.
We naturally have those moments in our lives that are more family-focused or more about work. That is reality. If you are looking at a week as your version of “long-term” and you have a major launch at work that last has a 12-week build up, have you failed as a mother when it comes to work-life balance? Nope. You’re looking at too small a window of time. Look longer term to see if you are creating the life and balance you want.
Embrace the season you’re in
You also don’t want to look constantly back or ahead. I’m a big believer in being present. Lean into the moments as they come. Focus on the work you have or time with family. Don’t have fear of missing out (FOMO). Consider the joy of missing out (JOMO). That mindset shift can help you stop worrying about what you might be missing either at work or at home.
Embrace that challenging project that helps you grow professionally or takes your business to the next level. Look at how you help your children grow and learn in the moments that are more family focused. Learn what you need to learn about your career or business. Work on being more of the mom you want to be, become a better partner to the one you love, or create deeper friendships.
Allow yourself to consider new possibilities
I hear and read over and over that working mothers shouldn’t stop themselves from growing because the worry about the sacrifices of tomorrow. We should aim high in our careers and we can still find time to be the moms we want to be. Don’t stop reaching for new opportunities as an employee or entrepreneur because you fear it will take up too much time tomorrow.
You can make it work. You will find the new version of balance, even if make a few missteps to get there. And remember, it’s a pendulum so it’s OK to have moments all about career. Give yourself the space and grace to find the balance over time. It won’t happen overnight.
I’ll admit it’s scary for me to put this out there, but I’m doing it anyway. For almost 4 years I’ve built the Mompowerment brand while also servicing clients in my marketing business, OKsuzi Strategy. With so many companies willing to be more flexible right now, I’ve started to consider going back to the corporate world. I enjoyed my corporate days and would gladly go back for the right opportunity. Entrepreneurship has been amazing. I recognize how it served me well for this moment in my life with two young boys. And if the right opportunity presents itself, that doesn’t mean I’ll walk away from Mompowerment and OKsuzi Strategy. It means I must truly find a great opportunity that still allows me time and mental space to support these brands I’ve worked so hard to build. So, you see, I’m a living example of this idea of being open to new possibilities.
Look through their eyes
If you stopped looking at this through your eyes and looked at it through your family’s, would it look different? In a few years, would your family remember that grueling product launch where you worked until 1am every single day, even on weekend? Probably not. Stop being overcritical of yourself.
If you aimed to be home for dinner a few days during the workweek and focused on family during the weekends, would they know you hopped back on the computer after the kids went to bed? Nope. And they wouldn’t care because they felt loved in the moments you were focused on them and their needs. Would they remember your long hours or would they remember how you made sure to be at every performance or competition?
We spend so much time getting down on ourselves, questioning our actions and our decisions. We are so critical of our every move. But here’s the thing. Our kids feel when we’re present. They feel like a priority in our lives. They don’t see the stress you feel. Instead, they feel your love and don’t judge you.
3 Tips to Help You Create Greater Balance:
If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that I like to give you lots of actionable tips. I’m sharing practical tips here to help you so you too will say working mothers can create greater work-life balance! And that way you can help me stop this idea that balance is a myth for working moms. So, here are 3 ideas you can start using now and there are links so you can dig in deeper to any of them.
- Boundaries matter. I often say in the workshops I do that work-life balance is much harder if you don’t have boundaries in place. Boundaries can mean a lot of different things, though, so take time to understand what boundaries matter to you. Be sure that you step away from work each night to focus on family and to recharge. If you need help, read this blog.
- Plan your week and days. Take 15-20 minutes on Sunday (or late on Friday) to plan your week and 10-15 minutes each night to think through the next day. Set week-long goals, priorities, and non-negotiables to know what you can move around when things come up. Figure out what you need to accomplish the following day. Make sure you’re maximizing your work and family time, so you can be at your best in all areas. Read more on this.
- Practice self-care. Yes, to be at your best, you must take care of yourself. It’s the old saying of putting on your oxygen mask first. Yet we forget this again and again as working moms. Want ideas on how to integrate self-care into your life even with limited time? Read this post.
There you have it. All sorts of ideas for you to take action. So you’ll say to your working mom colleagues, “Working mothers can create greater work-life balance” and share what’s helping you.
So, what does work-life balance mean to you? What helps you create the balance you want in your life? Need help figuring out why you want and need to make changes? Download your copy of the Know Your Why Guide now. Understanding your why helps you find the right path to creating the balance you crave.
