When it comes to setting up myself for success during this school year as a working mom, it’s partially based on knowing that my kids will have a good year. I want them to feel like they’re at their best through the school year. And it’s more than academic success. I also want to help them feel supported emotionally, psychologically, and physically. I share 7 ways that you can help set your kids up for success this school year.
Focus on sleep
Let’s start with sleep. Lisa Lewis shares about the need for pre-teens and teenagers to sleep in her recent book, The Sleep-Deprived Teen (affiliate link). I found this book so helpful. You probably know about the different stages of sleep and the importance of quality sleep as well as how sleep impacts growth and learning. What you might now know is the importance specifically of sleep to pre-teen and teen brains as it relates to emotional management, creativity, weight management, making risky choices, and even things like self-control. “Sleep quality matters more than diet, exercise, or even amount of sleep as a predictor of mental health and well-being.”
Helping your child get enough sleep absolutely impacts their school year. After reading this book, I realized that I needed to focus on this for both my elementary-aged child and my middle schooler.
If you’re reading this before school starts and you’ve let bedtime drift (who hasn’t!), start to adjust to an earlier bedtime and wake time in 10-15 minute increments every few days. If it’s during the school year and you’re checking out this blog, consider helping your child with a bedtime routine. It can help make bedtime easier. See what helps your child relax and get into sleep mode.
Help your child(ren) get organized
I talk a lot about helping working moms (and dads) be more intentional with their time. Productivity, time management, and staying focused, all integral parts of maximizing your time, are generally learned skills for most of us. Help your child start to understand how to be more efficient and effective with their time when they’re young. This can look a lot of different ways, but the idea is to break down bigger assignments and projects into smaller bites that they can work on consistently.
My older son is starting middle school. His teachers will start to rely on him taking the reins, no longer holding his hand through the whole process of turning in an assignment. Having a planner to help with his time management will be helpful. The Ultimate Student Planner (affiliate link) from ClassTracker is a great option. I like that there is room for monthly information, weekly goals, and specific assignments for each day. As someone who writes a lot about work-life balance, I especially appreciate that each week there is a spot that reminds students to take time for self-care and jot down a “Gratitude of the week.”
Help your child(ren) create a routine
I have written about the importance of a morning routine for working mothers like you. It helps you set yourself up for success each day instead of becoming a stumbling block you overcome each morning. You might already recognize the benefits of improving your time management or productivity when you have a routine in place. A routine can also help with things like stress management, sleep, and having time and energy when not if, things come up.
Consider different aspects of your child’s day where a routine will be helpful. You could create a routine for the morning, bedtime, homework, etc. See what’s most important and helps your child(ren) the most. Help them think about how they want to feel and what will help in that moment. Think through habits that will help a routine run more smoothly and start building those habits.
Support their homework habits
I mentioned a homework routine as a way you can help set your kids up for success this school year. Really, though, it deserves its own sub-section in this post. As kids get older, homework is often more difficult and time-consuming. Figuring out what works best for your child can really help. Whether it’s taking a break and having a snack first, doing a mindfulness exercise to release the stress of the day, or any other routine, help empower your child to find what works for him or her.
How does this affect you as a working mom or dad? Mom or dad might need to check homework or carve out time to explain topics. It could be that you need to help manage time initially as your child develops a habit. Consider how it makes sense for you to engage early on and over time. Make sure that time is carved out on your calendar.
Support their independence
We went to visit the boys’ godfather last summer while he was staying in a small town in Colorado. So much was within walking distance. Where we live in Austin is not walkable. It’s a mile down and then back up a big hill even to go to a corner store. And there isn’t much else at the bottom of the hill for my boys. We try to empower their independence in other ways like asking what they might want to make for lunch or even if they’d like to cook dinner. Both boys took a cooking camp this summer and fell in love with cooking. (Yay!!!)
Even if you have a young child, you can help them be more independent and accountable. Have your kids count the number of items they need to remember each day for school. We need to remember 4 things: backpack, lunch box, snack, and water. Think your kids are too young to do this? We started at age 4. It was a tip from one of our pre-school teachers and it’s been a big help over the years. We ensure we’re actually ready to leave and the boys start learning accountability and responsibility. It helps you and builds confidence–win-win!
Chores = Screen Time
You might need to break the habit of kids spending loads of time on devices that might have happened during summer. I definitely more closely monitor their time on devices. Our trick is to require the most days our boys must earn screen time. What does that mean? Chores = screen time. We track their chores during the week and that can translate to little spurts of screen time each day or longer periods over the weekend. Bonus is that they don’t seem to complain as much about helping around the house!!
Check in on their mental health
One of the most important ways to set your kids up for success this school year is to check in on their mental health. The pandemic has been hard on kids’ mental health. Being separated from friends, struggling to deal with the stress of learning in a new format (remote learning isn’t for all kids), and feeling like they’re falling behind, as well as dealing with everyday challenges of life during a pandemic, all took their toll on children.
Check in on your kids. Pay attention to changes that you can’t account for (e.g., being stressed about a test is normal but is the stress you see more than that?). Give unconditional love, even though it can be hard with your own stress and to-do list. Small moments of encouragement go a long way.
Make sure you show you’re open to talking and being supportive the way your child needs. Talking, encouraging feeling a full spectrum of feelings (i.e., it’s not only about gratitude and joy), and simply spending time together during things like family meals can make a difference.
And don’t forget the impact of modeling behavior you want your kids to mimic. I say this to managers about employees, but it definitely matters inside the home too. If you’re always stressed and don’t maintain boundaries, how will your child(ren) know how to define and maintain them?
And know when you might need to talk to a professional. Recognize that it might also take a while to speak to a professional as waitlists are long right now.
I’ve shared 7 ways to set your kids up for success this school year. What would you add?
Want more ideas on how to set yourself up for success? Start with your morning routine. Download a guide to help you with your morning routine and get 5 other strategic documents to help you ask for what you need at work and at home.
