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When it comes to setting up myself for success during the year as a working mom, it’s partially based on knowing that my kids feel supported and empowered during the school year. I want them to feel at their best at school and in their activities. And it’s more than academic success. I also want to help them feel emotionally, psychologically, and physically supported. I share 7 ways that you can help set your kids up for success this school year.
Focus on sleep
Let’s start with sleep because everything is easier or harder, depending on how well-rested you are. Lisa Lewis shares the need for pre-teens and teenagers to sleep in her recent book, The Sleep-Deprived Teen (affiliate link). I found this book so helpful. You probably know about the different stages of sleep. You might know that quality sleep positively impacts growth and learning. What you might now know is the importance specifically of sleep to pre-teen and teen brains as it relates to emotional management, creativity, weight management, making risky choices, and even things like self-control. “Sleep quality matters more than diet, exercise, or even amount of sleep as a predictor of mental health and well-being.”
Helping your child get enough sleep impacts their school year. After reading this book, I realized I needed to focus on this for both my elementary-aged child and my middle schooler.
Just like having a morning routine, consider creating a sleep routine. Help your child wind down the evening because it can be hard to go from completing homework assignments to falling asleep within minutes. When our kids were much younger, we would read to them as part of their bedtime routine. As they get older, they can read by themselves. Find books that won’t get them worked up. Consider having them do a mindfulness exercise to start to calm their mind and senses. There are apps they can use like the Calm app.
(Quick tip: If you’re reading this before school starts and you’ve let bedtime drift (who hasn’t!), start to adjust to an earlier bedtime and wake time in 10-15 minute increments every few days.)
Help your child(ren) get organized
I talk a lot about helping working moms (and dads) be more intentional with their time. Productivity, time management, and staying focused, all integral to maximizing your time, are generally learned skills for most of us. Help your child start understanding how to be more efficient and effective with their time (and energy) when they’re young. This can look a lot of different ways, but the idea is to break down bigger assignments and projects into smaller bites that they can work on consistently.
I found these skills to be really important when my older son started middle school a few years ago. The teachers in middle school rely on kids taking the reins, no longer holding kids’ hands through the entire process of turning in an assignment, especially something like a research paper. Having a planner to help with his time management will be helpful. The Ultimate Student Planner (affiliate link) from ClassTracker is a great option. I like that there is room for monthly information, weekly goals, and specific assignments each day. As someone who writes a lot about work-life balance, I especially appreciate that each week there is a spot that reminds students to take time for self-care and jot down a “Gratitude of the week.”
Help your child(ren) create routine(s)
I have written about the importance of a morning routine for working mothers. It helps you set yourself up for success each day instead of becoming a stumbling block you overcome each morning. You might already recognize the benefits of improving your time management or productivity when you have a morning routine in place. A routine can also help with things like stress management, sleep, and having time and energy when, not if, things come up.
Consider different aspects of your child’s day where a routine will be helpful. You could create a routine for the morning, bedtime, homework, etc. See what’s most important and helps your child(ren) the most. Help them think about how they want to feel and what will help with that time of day. Think through habits that will help a routine run more smoothly and start building those habits. Remind them not to scrap a routine if it takes time to find their rhythm.
Support their homework habits
I mentioned a homework routine as a way you can help set your kids up for success this school year. Really, though, it deserves its own sub-section in this post. As kids get older, homework is often more difficult and time-consuming. Figuring out what works best for your child can really help. Whether it’s taking a break after the school day to have a snack first, doing a mindfulness exercise to release the stress of the day, moving their body outside, or any other routine, help empower your child to find what works for him or her.
How does this affect you as a working mom or dad? Mom or Dad might need to check homework or carve out time to explain topics. It could be that you need to help manage time initially as your child develops a homework routine. Consider how it makes sense for you to engage early on and over time. Make sure that time is carved out on your calendar for this.
Support their independence
We went to visit the boys’ godfather several years ago while he was staying in a small town in Colorado. So much was within walking distance. Where we live in Austin is not walkable. It’s a mile down and then back up a big hill, even to go to a corner store. We try to empower their independence in other ways like asking what they might want to make for lunch or even if they’d like to cook dinner. (Both boys took a cooking camp this summer and fell in love with cooking. Yay!!!)
Even if you have a young child, you can help them be more independent and accountable. Have your kids count the number of items they need to remember for each day of school. When our boys were young, they needed to remember 4 things: backpack, lunch box, snack, and water. Think your kids are too young to do this? We started at age 4. It was a tip from one of our preschool teachers and it was a big help over the years. We were actually ready to leave the house and the boys started learning accountability and responsibility early on. It helps you and builds their confidence–win-win!
Chores = Screen Time
You might need to break the habit of kids spending loads of time on devices that might have happened during summer. During the school year, our trick is to require the most days our boys must earn screen time. What does that mean? Chores = screen time. We track their chores during the week and that can translate to short moments of screen time each day or longer periods over the weekend. Bonus is that they don’t seem to complain as much about helping around the house!!
Check in on their mental health
One of the most important ways to set your kids up for success this school year is to check in on their mental health. The pandemic was hard on kids’ mental health. There are things like social media and all the pressures of school that simply didn’t exist in the same way when I was a kid.
Check in on your kids. Pay attention to changes you can’t account for (e.g., being stressed about a test is normal but is the stress you see more than that?). Give unconditional love. Encourage in small and big ways. Remember that small moments of encouragement go a long way.
Make sure you show you’re open to talking and being supportive the way your child needs. Talking, encouraging feeling a full spectrum of feelings (i.e., it’s not only about gratitude and joy), and simply spending time together during things like family meals can make a difference.
And don’t forget the impact of modeling behavior you want your kids to mimic. I say this to managers about employees, but it definitely matters inside the home too. If you’re always stressed and don’t maintain boundaries, how will your child(ren) know how to define and maintain them? And talk to your kids about feeling stressed and how you deal with it? Talk about feeling down or feeling like things don’t go your way. And then share solutions. It can help your child feel less alone.
And know when you might need to involve a professional. Recognize that it might also take a while to speak to a professional as waitlists have been long since the pandemic.
I’ve shared 7 ways to set your kids up for success this school year. What would you add?
Want more ideas on how to set yourself up for success? Start with your morning routine. Download a guide to help you with your morning routine and get 5 other strategic documents to help you ask for what you need at work and at home.
