It’s the beginning of the year. It’s easy to start working on those resolutions for the year. Really, it’s easy to jump to action any time something isn’t quite right in your life, even if that’s a random Tuesday in July. You’re ready for change. Instead of moving to make changes, take an intentional pause. Give yourself space to feel all the feels. Give yourself a moment to look at your situation and get motivated to make changes. Start to uncover why you want the change and what you actually want the future version to look like.
The Infinite To-Do List
As working moms, we’re all busy. Our lives pull us in all different directions every day. We manage all the things pretty much all the time. When you’re a working mom, you’re almost always trying to maximize your limited time. Moms in the interviews I conducted describe taking calls in the car when they’re waiting in the pick-up line, in an effort to use every hour of the day and still be the one to pick up kids from school. We go from professional to mom, often with no buffer. What working mom doesn’t have a to-do list a mile long? (If you know one, I’d love to talk to her and hear her secret.)
We see the illusion of perfection everywhere on social media. You hear about 6-figure launches for new business programs. There is outside pressure to go, go, go. We question ourselves: “Am I doing the right things? Am I doing enough?” It can all be too much.
The reality is that some days we rock. Dare I say that we shine? And some days we barely hold it together. Our goal is simply to survive. In general, though, we’re trying to keep all the plates spinning at the same time.
The Need for an Intentional Pause
One of the concepts that really struck a chord with me during the 110+ interviews for the Mompowerment books was the idea of “breathing space.” What is “breathing space?” It can mean a lot of different things, depending on who you ask.
For me, breathing space is an intentional pause. I use it before I start assessing and figuring out my next steps. Breathing space may help you regroup so you can overcome the overwhelming feeling when your to-do list seems to only get longer. That pause can really help set you up to think through challenges. It can also help give mental space to understand what you really need at that moment.
Intentional Pauses and Change
The beginning of the year is a natural time to talk about changes and creating breathing room. Really, though, anytime is a good time to talk about change and creating breathing room.
How do we know what to change when we’re moving so fast? Without a pause, how do we know what we want to change or how we want it to look different? How will we understand whether we need a small tweak or a huge shift? Can we even process everything related to changes if we’re constantly moving from one thing to the next without a moment to assess? When do we have time to gather information and analyze to understand options and the best option for us at that moment?
We need purposeful moments to understand the next steps before we make changes or change becomes another thing on our to-do list. And, an intentional pause gives us the space to embrace the mental shift often needed to make change happen.
Use the intentional pause to gear up for the right changes for your needs as you move forward. Start to visualize how you can make those changes happen. Allow this moment to help you understand the goals you want.
Perhaps you’re really looking to engage your own personal board of directors or a sponsor to help you in the future (Check out my blog on mentors & sponsors). Maybe you need a business coach. You might be looking for a deeper understanding of a topic, which you can do through a course and/or book. You could be looking to be more efficient with your time. It might be time to change roles or even employers. Use an intentional pause to understand what resources you need to make change happen now and over time.
Pause Before Planning
On a broader level, breathing space is integral to planning. If you’re looking to make changes in your career or business this year, take time to gather your thoughts to help you start working on a plan. As you start to consider what you want the new year to look like you might buy a planner, join challenges, and look to coaches or peers for advice. You might read a new book or search online for information.
All of these things are important, but we need that first step to be an intentional pause to start gathering our thoughts. We need to take that moment before we look around at our own lives to know what we want to change. Think of it as a moment to reflect before you take action. That way planning will help you be more intentional, not simply take an action you feel you “should take.”
How Intentional Pauses Help in my Business
In my case, without breathing space, the Mompowerment books probably wouldn’t exist. If I simply kept going in my consulting business and didn’t look around to think about what was missing for other moms interested in more work-life balance, I wouldn’t have any written books.
With client work that needs to be done and looking for new opportunities, it’s easy to keep moving in my business to get things done. There is so much noise, so much distraction. I must take an intentional pause to wrap my head around what’s going well and what needs to change. The moments when I’ve pivoted and added new services were often after I had a moment to take an intentional pause.
Breathing Space and More Flexible Career Approach for Working Moms
Many of the moms I interviewed referenced a moment when they knew they needed to change their career approach. Breathing space put them in the right mindset to assess the situation. It gave them the ability to really understand what they wanted and needed. They were able to consider what their family needed and even what their employer/team needed.
If they had kept doing their job, they likely wouldn’t have made the change or it would have taken a lot longer. They might not have changed departments or started a business. That pause helped them know what they needed to change and what was working.
If you’re looking to make a transition to a role with more flexibility (e.g., part-time role, permanent work from home, job share, etc.), taking a pause can help you gather your thoughts so that you’re in the right mindset to analyze your situation to understand your next steps.
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In this time of change and planning, how are you taking a pause first? What would you do if you had more breathing space in your life? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
Not sure what to do after you take that intentional pause? Consider looking at why you want the change. Uncover what the change you want looks like and how to make it a reality. And consider what resources you need and who can help you. Not sure where to start? Download the Know Your Why Guide.
