I’m a busy working mom. I work part time as a strategic marketing and business consultant, plus now I’m marketing a new book. I am very specific with my time, although that can sometimes feel like I’m playing time management Tetris or putting together a time management puzzle when I don’t know what the picture looks like. When my husband offers to do something that comes up like shopping for Halloween costumes for our young boys, I’m all for it. Check out what I learned from the most recent experience of shopping for Halloween costumes and how that applies to my career.
Being Decisive Can Help
This year our older son knew he wanted to be the red Power Ranger. Let’s not focus too much attention on the fact that he’s never watched the show (or is it a movie?) or read a book about Power Rangers. He was decisive and knew what he wanted upfront.
Just One More Thing
My younger son and I talked about him being a fireman because he didn’t know what he wanted. We had a great fireman’s jacket, hat, and many typical fireman’s accessories. He was game. The only thing that was “missing” in his opinion was an ax. OK, how hard can it be to get a fireman’s ax for a 4-year old? (In case you’re wondering, the answer to that question is it’s really hard.)
My husband had his task list set and he was feeling really confident. Big mistake. Huge mistake to make assumptions about costume shopping when you have a 4-year old in the mix.
When Easy Isn’t Easy
My husband and older son found the red Power Ranger costume at the first store. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. And then began the search for a child-sized fireman’s ax. How is that different than a normal ax for a costume? It’s smaller – clearly. And it isn’t covered with blood. Yes, there are children’s costumes with plastic axes covered with blood. Fortunately, my young boys didn’t notice these gory versions as my husband steered them in other directions to avoid the questions and the horrible visual.
Option #2
Somewhere in there, our younger son suggested being a knight and my husband thought, “Problem solved.” And then they came home. Our 6.5-year old beamed about his costume find. He was ecstatic, to put it mildly. When I asked our younger son about his costume, the tears began. Massive crocodile tears. Let’s not forget that my husband is standing there dumbfounded. He thought he had conquered the challenge set before him. Nope. Not even close.
Through sobs, our younger son explained the tragedy of not finding a plastic ax and how he really wanted to be a fireman because he loves firemen. My husband renewed his commitment to finding the ax and they were off again after lunch.
The Search is On
After who knows how many stores (we had to go with stores because of the need for instant gratification since big brother had his full costume), they finally bought an ax. It was likely for a lumberjack costume for a small giant because the ax was huge, even for my husband’s 6-foot frame. It was better than nothing and our younger son was happy. Ax in hand, my husband and boys returned home again after outing #2.
When they get home, I am relieved and start talking about dressing up as a fireman because we have an ax. The final piece. Done. Nope. Not done. He’s going to be a knight. With an ax. Now, mind you, we had an ax for a knight, which was super frilly and went with the rest of the knight costume, which was purchased before lunch. That is irrelevant at this point. He’s happy, though, which is what matters. (And my husband is thankful that outing #3 is not needed.)
Raising Empowered Kids
Some of you might say our child is spoiled. We don’t spoil our kids. In fact, we are very intentional with how we raise our kids. We have sweet, smart, wonderful boys. We try to let them lead at times and voice their opinions. Halloween is one of those times. We generally try to empower them to be who they want to be and to dress up in whatever they want to dress up as within reason. It’s largely about managing expectations, right? We also know they will use those costumes over and over to dress up, so it’s a great purchase if they’re happy with it.
How this Situation Applies to my Own Career
I always try to learn from experiences, especially when they don’t go quite as planned. I was reminded of a few things in this situation and realized they apply to my career choices and dealing with change.
- Fully prepare for all options. When you have a few paths you can take, you need to fully play out the scenario and prepare for all aspects. It’s rarely as simple as buying two costumes. It usually takes a lot of preparation. Be OK with doing analysis, strategy, and overall preparations for more than one option. That way you’re ready, regardless of how things play out.
- Don’t discount emotion. You might think you should bottle up the emotion or put it in a box and bury it. When it comes to career, though, emotion can play a big part. The logical side of things can point you in one direction, but emotion can point you in another. Know what’s pulling at your emotion and address it or feel empowered to give that emotional side of things equal weight to the logic.
- Don’t make assumptions. I guess I should say don’t make baseless assumptions. Do some initial analysis and understand what’s going on. It’s hard not to make some sorts of assumptions. What I’m trying to get at is that you need to understand what is going on to make strategic decisions.
- Be comfortable with who you are and what you need and want. Career decisions are very personal. You want to know what you need and want compared to what your family needs and wants. You want to know what your team and employer need and want. Maybe you’re meant to be an entrepreneur or maybe you’re not. Maybe you want to lead a huge department, but it’s not right for this season of your life. Perhaps you need more help at home from your spouse or a nanny so that you can take on a new amazing opportunity at work. Maybe something worked for your colleague, sister, or neighbor, but that solution won’t work for you. Or perhaps your perspective allows for new opportunities or options that others don’t have. Be comfortable in your own skin. You be you and things will align as they are meant to.
- Know how things work together. Different aspects of your life can work together in surprising ways. You might find career opportunities from conversations with someone at your child’s school. You can have a networking playdate to get to know someone who recommends you for an opportunity. Understand how you can layer different aspects of your life so that they can more easily work together instead of putting a boundary. Life as a working mom requires certain levels of flexibility, after all.
Change will inevitably happen. When it’s time to make changes, having options is a good thing. It can be overwhelming. Ultimately, though, it’s a good thing to have choices. I try to remember that in situations with my 4-year old and in my own career situation.
Do your children remind you about things you need to be working on? Are you looking at choices or options in your life now? If so, what are your options?
Want to read more tips and stories from Suzanne Brown? Buy her book now. Mompowerment: Insights from Successful Professional Part-time Working Moms Who Balance Career and Family is available on Amazon. Or download a sneak peek of two chapters.
