It’s Mental Health Awareness Month in the U.S. and it’s also the perfect time to talk about tips to improve working mothers’ mental health. It has been a challenging 2+ years globally. Let’s face it. A lot of how we survived this pandemic has been because of the working mamas out there.
Why do we need to share more tips to improve working mothers’ mental health?
Feeling burnout, overwhelm, and overall exhausted? You’re not alone. Not by a long shot. In the most recent Women in the Workplace report from McKinsey & Lean In, we learned that one in three women has considered downshifting her career or leaving the workforce in 2021. That’s a big number. It’s a large jump when compared to the one in four who said the same thing a few months into the pandemic.
Burnout and overwhelm are real challenges for working moms, which led many – 1.4 million – to leave the workforce during the pandemic. Many of these mothers haven’t returned to the workforce yet, which has contributed to the challenges companies are facing for finding and retaining talent.
The pandemic has been hard on moms. In that same McKinsey report we see that working mothers in dual-career couples were “1.5 times more likely than fathers to be spending an additional three or more hours per day on housework and childcare” during the pandemic. In addition to that, consider the uncertainty, children’s mental health challenges, and consistent attempts at trying to manage their family’s health contributed to an already stressful situation. Yes, burnout for working mothers is a real issue. And that feeling is not simply going away.
You might not have known the statistics, but you likely felt exhausted, overwhelmed, uncertain, etc. during the past two years. Instead of focusing on the information side of things, I want to share tips to help you during this stressful moment. To help you think about how to improve your mental health as a working mom, I’m sharing 7 tips to help you take action now.
Let’s start with stress management
At times, when a working mom is looking for greater work-life balance, she’s actually looking to manage stress better. Let me start by saying I believe some stress is good in our lives. It helps us prioritize and can help us move forward. Chronic, overwhelming stress doesn’t help, though. You need to figure out what helps you specifically manage stress. I’ll share a few ideas here. If you want more actionable tips, check out 10 Tips to Manage Stress as a Working Mom.
- Practice mindful exercises where you focus all your senses on a visual or on your present moment. This helps you stop the swirl in your brain and be more present.
- Getting outside is more than changing of scenery. It can be good to move your body. Or you can be mindful and focus attention on the sounds of nature. This can have a calming effect.
Define and maintain boundaries
Our minds need downtime each night to be at our best. Sure, you might have seasons when you work late. Working long hours and having high-stress long-term can lead to burnout, though. And working from home makes it easier to hop online for one more email that turns into hours since you don’t have the mental stopping point of walking out of an office. Get a lot more tips on boundaries.
- Set a schedule so people know when you’re actively working. It’s similar to your normal hours in an office. When your time is done, you can shift your focus to family and life. It also helps you be more present.
- Use your calendar to create work time or you will have to do actual work in the evenings or early morning. Block off time or you’re more likely to fill your day with meetings.
Take time for Self-care
As working moms, it’s easy to put the needs of your family or work front and center. You’re often pulled in many directions and self-care moves down the already long to-do list. You must make the time for self-care to be at your best, though. I’ve got you covered if you want to know more about setting aside time for self-care. I’ve got two tips to get you started:
- Focus on small moments of self-care instead of trying to schedule the occasional spa day. Yes, spa days are amazing, but what about the other days of the month or year. Self-care once in a while doesn’t cut it! Take a moment each day or multiple days through the week to fill your cup.
- Getting enough sleep absolutely matters. Have a nighttime routine that gives your mind and body that signal that it’s time to shift to falling asleep instead of getting things done.
Keep your eyes on your own lane
Look at social media for new ideas on travel, self-care, or any number of topics, but don’t let others’ experiences be your measuring stick. Keep your eyes on your own lane for how you create the life you want. Don’t let others’ highlights make you think your life is less than. Life is what actually happens between the photos and most people don’t share that. You’ll either see others’ highlight reels or the low moments, not the stuff between. Focus on your needs and you’ll likely be happier and more satisfied with the lifestyle you create.
Ask for what you need at work and at home
Your significant other is not a mind reader (I know that is disappointing or at least it was to me). You must ask for what you need. According to a McKinsey survey, the pandemic has helped many working dads realize they want changes. This is the perfect time to make changes in how you partner at home. Here’s a hint when you’re working on sharing the mental load. Either be specific with your ask or get comfortable with things looking a little different. I share more on letting go of the mental load.
It also happens that your employer doesn’t know what you need either. If you own a business, your clients won’t know what you need unless you tell them. Boundaries absolutely matter. Intentionally not responding to late-night emails that aren’t emergencies can let your colleagues, manager, clients, etc. know that you’re not available in the evening. It’s more than boundaries, though. If you want to shift when, how, or where you work, you must let that be known. Be strategic with how you ask and try to create win-win situations.
Download the Mompowerment templates to help you with these integral conversations for changes at home and at work.
Create a tribe
You don’t need to figure things out as a working mom on your own. In fact, one of the integral tips to improve working mothers’ mental health is to create a tribe. You want your significant other, family, friends, colleagues, mentors, sponsors, allies, etc. to support you as you move closer to your personal and professional goals. This tribe also includes people like a housekeeper, nanny or daycare team, etc. Create a team to support you at home and at work.
Have a variety of people to keep you grounded. Choose people who listen to your challenges and cheer on your wins. Find people who can be sounding boards and help you take action. You want those who will simply sit and listen and others who will nudge you along. Whatever you do, don’t work on your mental health alone.
Find employers or clients that support you
It’s not enough to find a tribe to support you in your efforts to better manage your mental health. Having an employer that is balance-friendly, recognizes your boundaries, tries to create a supportive work environment (regardless of whether you’re in the office, at home, or a hybrid of the two), among other things matters.
You can look into these things when you first interview with a team or employer. Look at their website, talk to current and previous employees, and check out the stories managers and senior leaders share publicly. Learn more about How to Identify a Family-Friendly Employer in my Harvard Business Review article.
If you’re a business owner, work with clients who support your mental health. Having clients that respect your boundaries without your consistently holding the line shows they support and respect your decisions and approach. Having those clients that don’t consistently make unreasonable demands helps you maintain better work-life balance and overall wellbeing. Yes, you’ll have opportunities that come up or long hours during some seasons, but it’s not the usual way you do business.
A reminder to all
While you’re making changes, please remember to give yourself space and grace. We need the space to change and the grace to make changes without judging ourselves or our actions. It’s not all going to work perfectly. There will be days where things go well and moments, days, and weeks (maybe even months) where things aren’t quite what you want. It’s all OK. Keep making the effort to change things.
There you have it: 7 tips to improve working mothers’ mental health! Consider bookmarking this article to refer back to when you need it. I want to hear from you, though. What helps you with your mental health? What areas do you struggle with? What do you want to know more about?
If you’re a manager hoping to find new ways to support working mothers’ mental health, I’ve got 5 tips to help you support working mothers’ mental health.
Disclaimer
This article is based on updated content from experts and renowned resources available on the internet. This content is not designed to be a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified medical professionals. If you are dealing with overwhelming chronic stress, depression, anxiety, or other mental health challenges, please reach out to a medical health professional near you or online to help you with your specific needs.
