Happy Birthday to Mompowerment! It’s been five years since the launch of my first book, Mompowerment: Insights from Successful Professional Part-time Working Moms Who Balance Career and Family. It’s been a wild ride. I’ve heard stories and advice from amazing women and learned something from every conversation. I’m thrilled with all I’ve accomplished, starting with a TED talk even before I wrote a single word of the books. I’m sharing five specific observations that have helped me in empowering working moms to think differently and take action over the years.
Productivity ebbs and flows
You won’t be equally productive every day and that’s OK. Yes, you read that right. Not every single (work) day is work, work, work, work, work (in the famous words of Rihanna). Give yourself the grace and space to let things flow and be present in the moment.
Up all night with a teething baby and exhausted the next day? Maybe you had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall back asleep (or is that just me?). Did you spend countless hours in the pediatric orthopedist’s office because of a broken bone (please tell me I’m not the only one who deals with this regularly) with work still waiting for you? The deadlines don’t usually go away so you make things happen the next day or work into the wee hours, waking up exhausted the next day.
So, what do you do? Plan your week, including setting goals and priorities, and get an idea of your general workflow for the week. This helps you know what you’re working towards. I do this late on Sunday, but you can do this on Friday afternoon or Saturday. Then plan each day the night before. This becomes your blueprint; it’s the how you’ll execute for the week. You can move things around as life happens and reprioritize when (not if) things come up.
Don’t beat yourself up when it doesn’t all go according to plan. This is where you need grace and space to deal with life. You’ll get it done.
Partner with your significant other at home
When it comes to empowering working moms, everything starts at home. If you don’t already, it’s time to truly partner with your significant other on childcare and household duties. Share that mental load as you work together. Don’t expect your significant other to know what needs to be done or what should be happening. Don’t expect mindreading. Trust me, you’ll be disappointed. If I don’t ask for what I want and need from my husband, it won’t happen. Remember, expecting mindreadiny won’t help you.
The pandemic really showed the need to partner as parents and with all duties at home. Communicate. Leave mindreading to the movies. Yes, I know it would make marriage and parenthood a whole lot easier. For now, communicate. When things get really busy, overcommunicate what you need and want to make all the things come together.
Remember that week-long and daily plan I mentioned a few minutes ago? I share that with my husband and he does the same. That way we know where we need to be even more flexible. Yes, it takes time, but it’s absolutely worth it!
A great piece of advice I heard in the interviews was to sit down with your significant other on Sunday and compare schedules to see who picks up kids each day if there is an emergency. That way it doesn’t all fall to a default parent. A great suggestion was to have the parent who must cancel the least meetings grab kids on a specific day. Makes sense to me. What do you think?
How you work might need to change
What else has Mompowerment taught me? How you work matters! We hear all the time about batching. For every productivity challenge, someone suggests batching. Yes, batching can be helpful and increase productivity. If you can focus for long stretches, batching absolutely makes sense.
Batching can be hard for many working mothers with kids at home. And it’s not only mamas with littles. How many teacher in-service days, national or regional holidays, and even sick days does your older child have? It could even be that your caregiver is sick or any number of other reasons why kids are home unexpectedly. It can be really hard to carve out long sessions of focused time.
So, you might have to change how you work. It might be frustrating to change how you get work done, but it can mean the difference between reclaiming your time or not.
A good option when your days and time are naturally choppy is the Pomodoro technique. The premise of this productivity method is that you work 25 minutes and then take a 5-minute break. After three to four 25-minute sessions, you take a longer break of 15+ minutes. Read more on this technique.
Relationships, relationships, relationships
Relationships make a difference. I’m blown away by the amazing people, women especially, who I’ve met because of Mompowerment. It has been a treat to connect during these conversations and I have learned so much.
These relationships are part of what helped my business grow during the pandemic. I kept focusing on connecting with my existing network and with new people. And more and new opportunities kept coming my way. These opportunities didn’t simply happen. I worked hard over years to make these connections.
On the topic of relationships, I’ll also admit that I do miss being part of a team. There are days when I consider returning to the workforce and being part of a team again. Maybe one day. I’m open to the right position if it comes along. Giving space to say yes is something I take seriously, but that is a blog for another day.
I miss the camaraderie of having peers. I have tried to remedy this by creating peer masterminds over the years. I’m looking to create another one in the coming weeks and months.
One other place I’d like to talk about relationships is related to the life side of things. It’s not only important to consider relationships on the work side. We all need those people we can chat with on a bad day or we can call when we’re excited about an opportunity. I can’t imagine taking kids to two different schools without friends with whom I carpool. Focus energy on these personal relationships. They make life better.
Boundaries matter
I saved this one for last because I want you to remember this one. My research for the Mompowerment books taught me about the importance of boundaries. When it comes to empowering working moms who are looking to make changes related to their balance, it’s important to define and maintain boundaries at work and at home.
Saying no to one thing allows you to say yes to something else later. The reverse is true as well. That yes now means no to something else later.
Learn to say no, whatever that looks like for you. This way you have the time you want for the things you care about. For many working mamas I interviewed, that was time with family. This could be what you want more time for. It could also be that you’re starting a side business you’ll turn into your main source of income. You might be trying to move up on the corporate ladder and you need more space and time to figure out the next steps. You could want to be a leader in a non-profit you care about.
Not sure how to say no? Remember that “No” is a complete sentence. If you’re not comfortable with no, there are other options out there. Not right now. Not all of this, but I can do this small part. I promised my boys/hubby/daughter/whoever you want to blame (it’s OK to blame here) that I wouldn’t take more on.
OK, there you have it: five ideas on what I’ve learned while empowering working moms. What kinds of things have you learned from Mompowerment that have made you stop and think? What have you learned in your own attempt at creating greater work-life balance? I would love to know!
Interested in hearing more ideas, practical tips, stories, and advice? Grab your copy of either of the award-winning Mompowerment books. Mompowerment and The Mompowerment Guide to Work-life Balance are available on Amazon. Please note these are affiliate links.
