As the song says, the holidays are the most wonderful time of the year. Let’s be real, though Holiday time can definitely bring on stress. This time around I’m sharing holiday stress management tips for working moms.
What makes the holidays stressful?
Let’s start with the extra kids’ stuff. The holiday parties that we often really want to be at, but there is work to do. And the special theme days that we often don’t find out about until days before. We’ve got shopping and feeling pressured to buy the “perfect” gift for family and friends. (Sometimes, we’re the ones putting this extra pressure on ourselves.)
We try to create the “perfect” experiences and meals. We spend time with family we might not see often (perhaps on purpose?). We spend time with our kids – lots of time – when they don’t have school or activities and might be extra hyped up (on the season and on sugar). There can be extremely cold weather that limits time outdoors and keeps us in each other’s space, which means you might not be able to get away from what is causing you stress.
Also, realize that really happy moments or something you’re excited about can bring on stress. They can take you away from normal routines and add extra layers of stuff. They might push your boundaries. For example, if you’re heading on a great family vacation to somewhere new, you might be stressing about the prep for the trip.
Is it time to reset expectations?
For some, these are treasured moments. You’re creating memories and enjoying fun experiences. You might be starting new traditions or building on existing ones.
And that’s great until it isn’t. Make sure you’re not building things up so much that you can’t live up to the expectations. It’s OK to take things down a notch. Often, as moms, we’re the ones who are creating the expectations, not those around us.
And for some, this season can be tough. It could be the extra stuff that causes stress. It might be a moment when you think of a recently lost relative or friend, especially after the past few years. Give yourself some mental space to feel all the feels. You don’t have to be brimming with joy and enthusiasm all season long.
Let’s say, though, that you’ve gotten to a point where the holidays are causing stress and you need some quick ways to get the positive vibe going again. Be OK with that. Remember, it’s OK to give yourself space to feel all the feels.
OK, hopefully, now you recognize that you’re not alone if you’re looking for tips. Let’s get to those holiday stress management tips for working moms!
Take a moment
- Breathe. Take a breath – a deep breath. Let it out and then take another one. Really, I’m not joking. Breathing can really help and it has mental and physical elements that help slow everything down.
- Laugh. Is there a video on YouTube that always makes you giggle, or even better, belly laugh? Are you hanging out with a relative or friend who you laugh with even when you’re not trying? Is there something your significant does that you can’t help but laugh at? Watch the video or YouTube channel, or give a cue to the funny person in your life when you need a giggle or belly laugh moment.
- Use relaxation exercises. That can be breathing exercises, mindfulness exercises, or meditation. There are some good meditations you can find online from 2 minutes to an hour. There are apps to help you meditate (my favorite is calm). As a mindfulness exercise, listen to sounds in nature and imagine the scenes (e.g., ocean waves crashing on a sunny beach). It can be especially soothing to hear the sounds of water and nature and imagine the scenery. Just Google to see what’s out there that you personally might find relaxing.
- Read a book. Reading for just 6 minutes can lower your heart rate. As a busy mom, I can’t always find an hour to read, but I can escape to read for 5 to 10 minutes.
Move your body
- Get moving. Exercise. Better yet, exercise outside if you can and get the double whammy of moving your body and get the boost from being outdoors. Find a fun way to get that blood pumping.
- Listen to music you love. Do you have that song that just makes you smile or maybe even DANCE? (Hint: 80s music dance parties are the best!) Maybe tap into your best karaoke song or find a new favorite? Crank it up in the house or in the car and just sing to your heart’s content.
Is it time for a mindset shift?
- Good is good enough. Read that again. Don’t try for perfection this season. Know where you need to put your full effort and where it’s fine to be good or even OK. Your kids don’t have to participate in every theme day. Get ideas on how to make your holiday meal easier.
- Take one positive action. Sometimes when we’re stressed, the negative aspects build on each other to create a downward spiral. If you can get the momentum going the other way with one positive moment, no matter how small, it can help to turn things around.
- Be present. Try to focus on right here, right now. These next few minutes. Only this activity. When you think of ALL the things that you have to do, it can be overwhelming. Think about right now. You’ll get to the other things. And, when you’re really present, your kids, in particular, do notice.
- More JOMO, less FOMO. JOMO – joy of missing out – can overpower FOMO – fear of missing out. Be intentional with the things you say yes to. Enjoy the moment you’re in and stop thinking about the thing you might be missing. Consider how not finding a sitter for that holiday party allows you to enjoy a holiday movie with your kids (maybe introduce them to one of your favorites) or creates an opportunity for an at-home date night where you take a moment to connect in this busy time. Figure out what JOMO means to you.
Now I’ve shared several holiday stress management tips for working moms. All of these aren’t going to work for everyone, but a few could work for you in a tough moment or on a hard day during the holidays. Even with the stress of the holiday, there are ways to turn things around.
Do you have some ways you use stress management during the holidays that others might be able to use? I want to hear about them in the comments!
The holiday stress management tips for working moms in this blog are from my own experience, advice from working moms I interviewed for my books and blog, and information available on the internet. These stress management tips do not take the place of talking to a professional. If you are feeling depressed during the holiday season or if stress is interfering with your everyday life, please talk to a mental health professional.
PS In case you’re wondering the photo is of Lake Atitlan in Guatemala.
