As February is the month of love and friendship, the weekly blogs will cover topics that relate to these two aspects of our lives. I’m starting with the concept of being intentional and how it relates to loving the one you’re with.
Being intentional in all areas of your life
I’ve written about self-care before. It’s important. We often put it off, but it really is important. OK, off my soap box. (Renee Trudeau is one of my go-to resources on self-care.) Within the realm of self-care, although it might not seem related at first pass, is the idea of being intentional, especially for a part-time working mom. It seems to be a concept that has come up in many of the interviews, even if moms haven’t used the actual word “intentional.”
It seems like being intentional is a fundamental overarching pillar for success in being a good mom and in being a part-time working mom. Many of the moms we’ve interviewed know what they want to achieve while working part-time. These moms have often specifically created goals, a plan for balance, and an approach to fit all the pieces in their lives together.
It seems simple. Look at each aspect of your life – personal, professional, motherhood, being a significant other, etc. Set goals per area and you start measuring them, which is important in making it all come together. It’s not simple, though. It takes work.
Being intentional helps with our decision-making
We all have choices to make…each day we have choices to make. Some of the decisions are easy like what to wear or what to make for dinner. Naturally, some of the decisions will be harder and more involved. Renee Trudeau suggests we begin the day, week, etc. with an intention (e.g., be more present). That helped me initially when I started thinking about being intentional and I’ve tried to build on that.
Starting with that daily or weekly intention seems to set things up the right way. You don’t have to know all the steps when you take that first step. We might make mistakes and it’s important to give ourselves the chance to make mistakes along the way, even in motherhood, as long as it doesn’t harm our kids. We can’t let not knowing the whole path paralyze us or hold us back, though. There are times when you have to put a stake in the ground and say “I’m starting here” to get started on your path. And you make thoughtful decisions along the way.
And all the pieces need to fit together from all the aspects of our often complex lives. It’s a puzzle, but we get to decide what that puzzle looks like instead of seeing what others’ puzzle pictures look like. It can be overwhelming, but it’s also exciting to understand that it’s your own path and you can make it what you want.
Be more proactive in your life
If you think about it, being intentional allows you to be more proactive in your life as well. Being passive in my own life is something that doesn’t sit well with me. I was a goal setter and achiever before I got married. When I had children, my intention was always to “be a good mom,” which shifted attention away from career.
When I starting writing doing research for the Mompowerment book, I started to relook at intentions in my life and at setting goals for myself. I had to reassess my goals in motherhood and my professional life.
My husband and I are also starting to talk about being more intentional with how we raise our boys. We are looking at the goals we want to set as a family and the traits we want to help bring out in our young children. We are also setting an intention to spend more time as a couple and not focus on family all the time. We’re trying to be proactive instead of being passive in our adventures as a family and as a couple. It is a shift in behavior and it takes reminding for both of us and we’re enjoying the change.
Are you intentional in your approach to motherhood and to life in general? Do you have tips or even a story to share in the comments on how you made that happen or are making it happen?
