Networking was the #1 piece of advice in the more than 110 interviews that I did with working moms for my books. Building your tribe as a working mom is important. There is no way around it. I’m talking friends, business colleagues, clients, previous coworkers, etc. It’s a mix of the personal and the professional and we need both as working moms. 

Why does your tribe matter as a working mom?

What working mom doesn’t need to feel more supported and/or connected? So many of us are in the same boat. So why is it so hard to make friends as a working mom?

I get that we lack time. I really get that. I live this, write about it, and speak about maximizing your time. It’s literally my business. How will you fit making new friends into your already strapped day? You make time for what’s important. Feeling supported and connected is that important to our well-being and maybe even to our success.

We lack opportunities to connect (or at least we think we do). When we’re young, we bond over all sorts of things. We’re part of the same groups during the university experience. We have similar interests as young professionals. We work for the same company or see each other at industry events. Our presence at these things might not change over time, but how we approach them does. We tend to stick with people we know as we get older. And, yet, in some ways it’s when we most need new ideas and perspectives.

And part of it seems to be that don’t know how to get unstuck in our patterns, so we don’t make the effort. You might know you want new people in your tribe, but you don’t know what to do and it looks so overwhelming. So, you simply don’t take a first step. And, what if you risk taking the first step and get rejected? But then, what if you did risk making that first step and were rewarded with a wonderfully deep connection!

There are more reasons, but you get the idea. It can be hard to find new people for your tribe when you’re a working mom.

Your needs change over time

Before having kids, I was a constant networker. They were mainly business contacts. That’s changed over time. I changed who I brought into my tribe when I become a 100 percent entrepreneur and then shifted again on the types of people I actively looked for when I become a mom. And as I launched two books, I added new types of people to my network yet again.

You get the idea and you’re in the same boat. You change where you put your focus on networking as your needs change over time. Along the way, though, we need mentors, sponsors, and allies.

Old meets new (you need both)

You might be working on something and feel alone in your efforts. Your old friends aren’t on the same journey, so maybe it’s time to add some new tribe members. This doesn’t mean you abandon old friendships. Building on your tribe doesn’t mean your old tribe members go away. You add new people to your ever evolving and expanding network. It’s not a zero-sum game. Well, at least I don’t think it is.

The Mompowerment tribe made a difference

Writing two books and creating the Mompowerment brand and community have taken me on an unexpected journey. Conversations and moments with strangers who have become women in my tribe show me how far I’ve come and how my ideas matter. They fuel my desire to do more. I know I’m not alone and that makes me feel more empowered.

I’m always looking for new perspectives. Lately, I’ve been finding complementary voices. We’re all moving in the same direction in our businesses, but we’re coming at it from different angles. Ultimately, we’re all getting women to think differently about their lives, careers, and needs. I love this variety of voices and perspectives in my tribe.

Moving the conversation along

During my calls, we often initially cover easy topics like our kids, where we live, and what we do professionally to ease into the conversation. It’s the normal initial conversation. And then we shift the conversation away from the casual personal stuff to the meaty business stuff.

You can find your own way to shift the conversation from initial light personal conversation to business but take the time. Don’t dwell too long on your kids or complain about your mother-in-law (I know it’s tempting). Not sure of this transition. Practice. Practice in the shower or in the car when you don’t have littles. Here’s a line I use, “So, what do you do when you’re not here (replace with at school, at this conference, at this event.” That way you’re not asking whether or not the mom works. You might hear about boards where she’s active or her job. Maybe it’s the perfect segue to talk about her passion, which is similar to yours.

Making online connections

Over time I might share articles I think these women might find useful in their own efforts. I reach out to women in my Facebook groups. I’ve responded to tweets or commented on LinkedIn posts. They show interest and support. They open the door to a conversation. It’s one small step and that is all you need. And that gives you the reason to schedule a call or online face to face chat (e.g., via Skype or Zoom).

Be patient

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t something that happens with a snap of your fingers. Some connections will come naturally. Some building your tribe will take lots of effort and time. I’ve reached out to people and gotten a response of “Thanks for sharing” when I’ve said “I really enjoyed that. Let’s do an online coffee chat.” It’s not quite the response I was looking for, so I move on.

Have you had this happen? Before it discourages you, the next time you try, you might hear the enthusiastic, “I’d love that.” Remember, building your tribe is important. Many important things don’t simply happen overnight.

Need ideas on where to meet new people?

If you want some ideas on where to meet some new people to add to your tribe, these may help:

• Reach out to women (or men) that post comments that resonate with you in Facebook groups or on LinkedIn
• Talk to people you see regularly at work, who you don’t work with
• Reach out to the women and men you see when doing activities at your child’s school, especially if they say things that gel with your own ideas (I grabbed coffee with two moms after we brought stuff for a school party and we ended up forming a peer mastermind)
• Ask friends of friends for ideas on meeting new people, not only for work but to expand your tribe. Friends of mine have set me up on friend dates when new people move to Austin.
• Talk to people at the social events you attend. Maybe you like their style. Maybe they made some comments that make you want to learn more. Ask them to chat over coffee.

Over time your tribe will make you feel supported. They will give you a sounding board for your ideas, goals, and initiatives. And you can do the same. It’s a mutual opportunity to grow and feel connection. And who doesn’t need to feel that connection with like-minded women and fellow moms?

How are your efforts to build your tribe going? What are you most struggling with? What’s the easiest part? Is there a place you naturally find the women in your tribe?

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Looking for help with your networking? Or maybe you want to make your networking more intentional? Download the free guide to Networking Where you Are and take advantage of the relationships all around you each and every day.