Let’s be honest, working motherhood can be stressful. You’re juggling a lot always. And working mamas’ mental health has been pushed to an extreme, due to the pandemic. A McKinsey report shared that working moms are doing an additional 15+ hours of work at home during the pandemic. It’s no wonder that working moms are feeling overwhelmed by their mental health challenges. Let’s turn that overwhelmed feeling around. I’m sharing loads of resources and tips to help you manage stress as a working mom.
Why does stress management matter?
I’m a firm believer that some stress is actually good for you. It can help you prioritize and keep you moving forward. Chronic or overwhelming stress doesn’t help anyone, though. We often hear about the fight or flight response (the proper name for this is the acute stress response). That feeling of overwhelm can kick in a third response, which is to freeze. We literally can feel paralyzed. I would feel this way at times and didn’t realize why until I started doing some research.
Plus, lowering stress is a driving force behind many working moms looking for work-life balance. I’ve had to understand more about stress management as a work-life balance speaker, strategist, and author/writer and as a working mother with two businesses and two young children. The more educated I can be, the better resources and recommendations I can provide. (And to be honest, the better I can be in my own life.)
Take one small step
I want to start by reminding you that stress usually doesn’t go away on its own. Usually, ignoring it and hoping it works itself out doesn’t really work. It’s doable to manage stress, though. And it’s helpful to consider consistent small steps to help you manage stress as a working mom. The steps I’m sharing are all about taking action. If you’re looking for additional tips such as help with boundaries or being more present, I’ve got those in a recent post.
Sometimes when we’re stressed, everything takes a negative turn and it all spirals down. So, here’s the first tip that you want to keep in mind. If you can get the momentum going the other way with one positive moment or step, it can turn things around no matter how small. Focus on that one (small) step.
Tips for fighting stress
We all have our usual go-to options to help manage stress, so now you’ll have a few more. Who doesn’t need more tools to help in their stress management? OK, let’s get to more of those tips to help you manage stress as a working mom!
Breathe. Take a deep breath. Let it out and then take another one. Deep breathing – the kind from your diaphragm or belly – can really help. Consider the 4-7-8 method as a starting point. Inhale for 4 seconds through your nose, hold for 7 seconds, and then exhale for 8 seconds through your mouth. Why it works? Remember that fight-flight-freeze mechanism? Deep breaths can short-circuit the brain to stop thinking it’s under attack.
Laugh. A giggle or, better yet, a belly laugh, can make a huge difference in how we cope with stress. So find that YouTube channel, follow a funny Instagram account, laugh with your kids doing, call up your funny friend, get your significant other to do that thing that makes you laugh. Tap into whatever works for you! And don’t forget that laughter can be contagious. It’s a great way to diffuse a stressful moment.
Read a book. When doing research for a presentation years ago, I discovered that reading for 6+ minutes can lower your heart rate. As a busy mom, I can rarely find hours to read, but I can do 6+ minutes. I suggest you read something that brings you joy instead of something work-related or something that makes you anxious (yep, skip the psychological thriller).
Listen to music you love. As the saying goes “Music soothes the savage beast.” It can also help with stress. Anytime you go to a spa, you’ll hear soothing music in the background. That might be perfect for you now. Or it might not. Maybe you have favorite artists that simply make you smile. Or it could be music that helps you DANCE! Maybe your favorite karaoke song? Crank it up in the house or in the car and sing to your heart’s content. Yep, I’m that person you see while driving that is jamming out in her car. Happy to be the cause of others smiling as they watch me at a stoplight!
Tips to help you be more present
OK, so part of stress management is shifting that acute stress response (remember the flight-flight-freeze response?) to a sense of calm. You spiral downward as one bad thing happens and suddenly you’re thinking of the absolute worst situation. It happens in a blink. Or am I the only one? We need to stay present or shift to the present instead of allowing the negative rush of emotion/thoughts to take over.
Be Mindful. To stay in the moment and step away from the overwhelm, try a mindfulness exercise. Stop thinking about ALL the things on your to-do list. Focus on right here, right now. Feel the sensation of your clothing on your body. Smell the fragrance of the dryer sheet on your clothing. Feel your fingertips on your skin. Hear the sounds around you. Sure, it’s great if this is outside, but that’s not always an option. You can even listen to traffic outside or dogs barking in the neighbor’s yard from your home. Be completely present without judgment.
Want to go a bit deeper? Think of a moment you really enjoyed. I like to focus on a moment at the beach. You can feel the foam of the waves on your legs and the sand under your feet. You can smell and even taste the salty air. You’ll hear the waves crashing and the seagulls cry. You’ll feel the sun or the wind on your face and arms. You get the idea. I do this exercise with my son when he’s having a hard time falling asleep because of what I call the swirl. I sometimes deal with this too. It’s the challenge of quieting the brain at the end of the day and your thoughts swirl.
Meditate. While you can do mindfulness meditation, you can also meditate to clear your mind. Especially when you’re starting out, consider using a guided meditation. My favorite tool is the Calm app. Several of the women I interviewed mentioned the Headspace app. Don’t be discouraged if, especially initially, you find it hard to quiet your mind. When I meditate I let my mind swirl for a few minutes and then I focus on clearing my mind.
The importance of action
Move your body. You’ve probably read about how exercise can impact you in a positive way. Endorphins, staying healthy, and getting your blood flowing. 30 minutes a few times a week. I notice a difference between the days I move my body and days I don’t. I definitely feel more awake and recharged when I have exercised, so I try to do this almost every day. It’s a great family activity too. And I’ll add I’ve noticed my boys (and husband) do a lot better when they’ve moved their bodies, especially in the morning on non-school days.
It’s easier than ever to see your favorite instructors online too. See if they have online subscriptions or if they have YouTube videos available. And maybe consider trying something new out to see if you’d like to subscribe to their channel or website. My favorite free workouts are Pamela Reid and Pop Sugar. Especially for moms trying to get back into shape, Erin Kendall has great videos/workouts.
And you might also know that heading outside is really good for you and your mental health. I find that I focus on what’s around me when I get outside. You can smell the fresh air, see the trees, flowers, animals, etc. You’re looking around you and in front of you instead of focusing on what’s in your head. If you want to read more about the benefits of getting outside, there is helpful information on the American Psychological Association website. What if you combine exercise and being outside?!?! Head on a hike or simply take a walk. I recognize getting outside doesn’t work for everyone, but, if it does, get out there!
Do some energy tapping. Tapping is a stress and energy management technique that combines psychology with acupressure (think acupuncture without the needles). You move energy throughout the body and send calming signals to the brain and your body systems by tapping different energy points with your fingertips. Your nervous system starts to regulate and you send signals to the rest of the systems in your body to relax. It’s really quite amazing how it works and helps. My go-to for this is Suzanne Gundersen.
Grace and space
I love the idea that perfect is better than done. You don’t need to give 110% in absolutely every area of your life. Figure out the places where you need to give that extra effort and the places where good is good enough and done is better than perfect.
And giving yourself space and grace to have hiccups in life will also remove the pressure. Even without hiccups, consider adding buffers throughout the day to deal with the things that come up. Stressful moments happen. Bad days happen. Sick kids are normal. Don’t get down on yourself for being human if you’re dealing with these challenges. And it’s OK to ask for help.
I’ve given you loads of tools, tips, and resources to help you manage stress as a working mom. Bookmark this article to refer back to when necessary or share with a friend. Now it’s your turn! I’d love to know what helps you manage your stress?
Looking to make changes to your work-life balance? Grab your copy of the Know Your Why Guide and understand the reasons behind the changes you want before you take action. Make sure you’re taking the right steps to help with your work-life balance needs.
Disclaimer:
This article is based on updated content from experts and renowned resources available on the internet. This content is not designed to be a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified medical professionals. If you are dealing with overwhelming chronic stress, anxiety, or other mental health challenges, please reach out to a medical professional near you or online.
