The holidays can be a great time with family and friends. You see people you don’t often see. You do things that you don’t do the rest of the year. That can be lots of fun. The holidays can also be stressful, especially for working moms. There, I said it. I’m sharing tips in hopes of helping working moms manage stress this holiday season.
Why do the holidays bring on extra stress?
You’re finishing up projects to make sure clients and colleagues are squared away. You feel pressure to buy the “perfect” gift for family, especially your kids, and friends. We try to create amazing experiences for your kids and maybe your extended family when they visit you. Meals are a whole production with extended family. And we’re hanging out with family we might not see often (perhaps on purpose?). If you add in the effects of the pandemic, you’re already exhausted, so all the other stuff is simply added stress during the holidays.
We spend time with our kids – potentially lots of time – when they don’t have school or activities and it’s unplanned and off our usual routine. There can be extremely cold weather that limits time outdoors and keeps us in each other’s space for long stretches of time. That can lead to more bickering between siblings and general grumpiness. Yep, that adds stress for kids and their parents.
While there are absolutely treasured moments in the mix, it can feel like a lot. (Funny enough, even really happy moments can bring on stress, guilt, and other challenges.) For some working mamas, this whole season can be tough and it’s a countdown to school starting again in the new year. OK, let’s be honest, it’s likely a mix of the two.
You’re not alone
Feeling the extra stress? You’re not alone. We don’t talk about it, but it’s definitely there. Ask a friend and then see her reaction.
If you know that holidays will cause you stress and you need some quick ways to get the positive vibe going again, these tips are for you. Through the years I noticed that in my workshops and webinars the questions near the holidays often came up related to holiday stress. I decided to do a bit more digging to give some ideas related to holiday stress specifically. And keep in mind that lowering stress is a driving force behind many working moms looking for work-life balance.
All of these aren’t going to work for everyone, so take what works for you. The other tips might help another time. Or maybe you can share them with a friend who is struggling. We all need these tips, especially after the past 2 years as working mothers. I do want to mention that these solutions are not for you or someone you know in a state of depression, a serious issue that a medical professional needs to help with.
Quick stress management tips for working moms
Here are some tips and tricks for working moms to fight holiday stress:
- Breathe. Take a breath – a deep breath. Let it out and then take another one. And another one. Really, I’m not joking. Deep breathing, the kind from your diaphragm or belly can really help. Let’s not make it sound like heavy breathing, though, unless that will make you laugh. More on that next…
- Laugh. Is there a video on YouTube that always makes you giggle, or even better, belly laugh? Mark it as a favorite on your computer or phone. Is there something your significant other does that you can’t help but laugh at? Or maybe it’s your kids that make you chuckle. Let him or her know and give the cue when you need to see/hear/experience whatever it is. And don’t forget that laughter can be contagious. It’s a great way to diffuse a stressful moment.
- Meditate. Meditation can help you focus on whatever you want to focus on. There are some good meditations you can find online from 2 minutes to an hour. My favorite app is Calm. Several of the women I interviewed mentioned the Headspace app.
- Read a book. During my previous research for a presentation, I learned that reading for just 6 minutes can lower your heartrate. As a busy mom, I can’t always find hours to read, but I can escape to read for 5 to 10 minutes. I suggest you read something that brings you joy instead of something work-related or something that makes you anxious (yep, skip the thriller).
- Move your body. Exercise. Better yet, exercise outside since being outside can help with relaxation. Get that blood pumping. OK, when it’s super cold, being outside can be tough, but there will be those unusual days when you can and should get outside. Don’t forget the fun of building a snowman or, dare I say, a snowball fight?
- Listen to music you love. Do you have that song that just makes you smile or maybe even DANCE? Maybe your favorite karaoke song? Crank it up in the house or in the car and just sing to your heart’s content. Yep, I’m that person you see while driving that is jamming out in her car. It’s OK to laugh at the imagine of a grown woman jammin out in her car at a stoplight.
- Take one positive action. Sometimes when we’re stressed, everything takes a negative turn and it all spirals. If you can get the momentum going the other way with one positive moment, no matter how small, it can turn things around.
- Be present. Try to focus on right here, right now. These next few minutes. Only this activity. When you think of ALL the things that you have to do, it can be overwhelming. Think about right now. You’ll get to the other things. And, when you’re really present, your kids, in particular, do notice.
Time management during the holidays
During the holidays, our usual time management approach can go out the window. You might be a time management champ as a working mom, but the holidays take you for a spin and it takes a while to recover. Consider using time management strategies during the holidays.
- Prioritize. As a working mom, you’re probably already doing this throughout the year. The holidays come around and you throw the priorities out the window. Remember how you’re trying to create all that magic for your family? Yep, you add to the list instead of focusing on priorities. Figure out what you most care about and stick to these ideas, desires, intentions, etc. Give yourself permission to take this approach.
- Be aware of what you say yes to. This one is closely related to prioritizing. We can say yes to too many things and simply get stretched too thin. Don’t go to everything you’re invited to or don’t plan on staying the whole time if you want to attend a few things that overlap. Be OK with saying no to a few things or a lot of things this holiday season.
- Plan your time at events. Set the time you can attend and stick to it, even if it takes an alarm going off on your watch or phone to be that not-so-subtle nudge to head to the next things. You still don’t have to attend 100 percent of anything, even if you don’t have another event to attend.
- Give yourself enough time. Think you can do all the things on your list in 2 hours? Maybe you can or maybe it’s a no-go with your two kids in tow and all the holiday traffic. Only you can gauge. Be realistic, though, and don’t pile on too much.
- Find people to provide additional services. Don’t want to have to gift wrap? Hire it out. We had a sitter who was an expert wrapper. Guess who did my wrapping during the holidays? Maybe you know a mom at school who does monogramming. Get a helper with a car to run errands. Make sure they track mileage in addition to time or pay a higher hourly rate and lump it all in together.
If you’re looking for a few additional ideas on how to manage stress this holiday season, these other Mompowerment posts may help this holiday season:
Ideas on making the holiday meal easier
Find help with setting and maintaining boundaries this holiday season
Do you have some tips on stress relief or time management that help? Please share what works for you in the comments.
Realizing you need to make more meaninful changes this holiday season and beyond? Not sure where to start? Download the Mompowerment Know Your Why Guide to help you get started.
